Do you know how you prefer people to communicate with you? Lots of detail? Just the facts? Lots of emotion and expression? Pick up the phone or just e-mail me? Block time to talk or be spontaneous? Knowing how you like to be communicated with is a great first step and can reduce frustration and irritation.
When something is on your mind, do you like to just get it all out without really looking for a solution? Or do you prefer to think and reflect on it quietly by yourself until you are ready to articulate your thoughts? By simply telling the person you are conversing with something like, “hey I just need to get out what is in my head because it helps me think so I’m not looking for a solution, I just need to hear it out loud.” By letting the other person know what to expect helps both of you.
Or, you may be really quiet and the other person is left wondering what’s going on in your head….is she/he mad? Did I say something wrong? Why isn’t she/he saying anything? Try saying something like, “I have a lot going on in my head right now and I just need to think about it for awhile.”
In both cases, you are advocating for yourself and letting the receiver know your preferred style. So often we make assumptions that people should just know why we are talking/rambling/quiet/expressive, etc. and they don’t.
Let’s start here: How do you like your communication? I’d love to hear your preferences.